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If you know that sending a sweet sext (or an even dirtier one) is something that excites your partner, it can build up your courage and confidence to send it. “Just like the physical act of sexuality, the build-up is where the fun is,” Eros reminds us. “Little comments or texts throughout the day can really build up the excitement leading to the physical touch.” When it comes to sexual fantasies or igniting intimacy throughout the week, Eros knows a thing or two about how to bring it to life, even through texting your partner. But even as I’m saying those lines to you, I feel awkward. And I know that people are listening.

Make Observations and Share Descriptions

Here are some helpful tips—with crowdsourced anecdotes from myself and friends—to make sure your “dirty talk” doesn’t leave someone with a foot in their mouth (unless that’s the goal). Aftercare, for the uninitiated, is what the kink community calls checking in with one another after sex. Everyone should do it, whether you spit on one another on the bathroom floor or have missionary sex in the dark. After you call your girlfriend a slut during sex, make sure to hold and cuddle her. She knows intellectually that you think highly of her, and she knows that the dirty talk was part of hot consensual sex.

Dirty Talk: How To Get More Comfortable With This Sexual Practice

• Get up close and personal with exclusive, inspiring interviews and taste profiles delivered with a cheeky twist to your inbox daily.
• In fact, I wonder for you Brandon, because you talk about being you know self conscious and being worried about whether the neighbours are listening.
• If your sex partner wants you to seduce them between the ears, but you don’t know what to say, chances are you’re not inept.
• If you feel silly saying “cock” or “slut” or whatever word your partner wants you to say, just remember that you’re speaking to an audience of one and your partner’s reaction is the only reaction that matters.

“It’s oftentimes easier to talk about attributes or objects — how sexy a piece of underwear is or that you really like their beard stubble,” says Neustifter. So start with descriptive statements of what turns you on about your partner when you’re trying out dirty talk during sex. Plus, it’s almost impossible to flop when you’re telling someone how much their body excites you. So, while you can definitely learn how to talk dirty (and this article’s got you covered), you also don’t need to start throwing around sexy sayings.

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“But I can use language to describe what I love about how they feel in my arms, the way they smell, the experience of them tasting me.” So how do you strike a balance between PornHub and theater-kid energy? If taking it to level 11 with the role play is your speed, go for it. If you prefer the coy whispers and delicate innuendo of a Regency-era drama, be my guest. Just make sure that whatever you’re doing, your partner(s) are on board.

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